Mr. Kyagulanyi Robert aka Mr. Ghetto President. I was very excited about your platform before the 2021 election and secretly thought that you had good odds of successfully deposing the “dictator”. However you failed to adequately address many of my anxieties and those of many Ugandans. Maybe you didn’t lose as badly as the results announced by the Electoral commission show but if the truth should be told, you did lose the 2021 Presidential election. Many of those that put their hopes in you hold onto the delusion that you won the election but you did not. To be clear, if the election had not been marred with intimidation, threats, misuse of state resource and voter suppression you might have won the election but unfortunately you are unlikely to have such an election anywhere in Africa.
Mr. Kyagulanyi Ugandans have a lot of questions that you failed to answer during the campaign. We agree with you that you did not have sufficient time to convince us of your platform and that the campaigns were oppressive and unfair but you knew that from day one. You knew that the crooks would obstruct you every where you go, arrest you and your supporters and intimidate the media into silencing you. You failed to prepare for those eventualities which were predictable and which you were well aware of. Next time please strategize better and anticipate all the obstacles that the crooks will throw in your way. You should have known that you needed to win a special majority of the votes to become the president of Uganda. Mr. Kyagulanyi Ugandans are still wondering and will continue to wonder in 2026 and beyond about your platform. So please address the weaknesses below.
- Have you really overcome your youthful exploits and become presidential material? Can you articulate solutions to the various problems that Ugandans face especially poverty, unemployed and corruption? Are you really able to build on what has Mzee Museveni has put in place? Are you able to clean up the mess that the thieves and crooks in government have made especially in regards to combating corruption, eradicating poverty and job creation? Can you maintain our security?
- Mr. Ghetto President, I hope you are aware that security is an undisputable achievement of President M7 who has generally kept the country peaceful except for some considerable Kony years. The army has remained generally disciplined and however useless and corrupt the Uganda Police Force is, it has good people who are willing to serve Uganda but their voices have been silenced by the crooks. Mzee Museveni has done a terrible job at integrating civilian oversight in the armed forces and this is something that could one day haunt all of us. In fact he has entrenched the military in civilian agencies in Uganda. You failed to convince your fellow Ugandans of your strategy for this kind of situation. Did you have non-political discussions with army leaders about what would happen if you had won in 2021? Would the army have stood behind, the choice of Ugandans had you won? Would it have done its job and stopped the crooks from causing commotion and rejecting the will of the people?
- Mr. President, what strategy did you have to ensure that the election would not be stolen from you? I hope you knew that you couldnot rely on the Supreme Court because as History has shown, most of them have no problem letting the country decent into dictatorship as long as it serves their short term interests. Mr. Besigye tried to report the election results in real time as they are released at the polling stations but social media was cutoff. I do not remember if internet access was available that day but you should know that the thieves in Uganda are shameless. They will turn internet off on Election Day. So what is your solution? Are going to organise a demonstration because they will simply arrest you and a bunch of innocent Ugandans and torture you. I am not a fun of commotion in the city but those guys just go overboard in handling peaceful Ugandans, exercising their rights. I mean in a democratic society, you could be given a stadium in Wakiso or Luwero to go and demonstrate as much as you want with police protection.
- Mr. President, how are you going to handle the opposition? Obviously the thugs around Mzee have done a terrible job at handling the opposition. Do you remember the trumped up rape charges against Dr. Besigye in 2005, anyway that was dim-witted. Yeah, it accomplished the goal of keeping him off the campaign trail but believe me, if the election had been transparent, Mzee was a goner. I hope that if, despite the odds you manage to become the actual President of Uganda, you do things better. However, this is the time to tell us, what you are going to do. Please, hire some young lawyers to draft for you an iron clad Police and criminal Investigations Act. Build a platform instead of just singing that Mzee must go. Many Ugandans know that Mzee will one day go. Even the thugs and thieves around mzee know that mzee must go one day. So present yourself as a real alternative. Stop the alleged drugs, its not s presidential. Give up the singing please, at least when you are in public office.
- You cannot become president without Mzee’s people upcountry and the Generation X. They remember the dark times and to them mzee M7 is the difference between a man growing his coffee, educating is children and having a decent sleep at night. Many of them do not care about your demonstrations, nor do they grasp economic theory or national debt or human rights. They are used to their good life. You should know that human rights abuses are rare upcountry, there are few arbitrary arrests, there is UPE, and there is USE and some drugs in the health centres. So upcountry, what is your strategy for the masses? Obviously, you have supporters country because there are many people who have seen the damage caused by mzee’s thugs and thieves. There are those who are waking up to the fact that food on the table, UPE and USE are no longer enough. There are those that want their children to have decent jobs. There are those that hunger for better schools, better health care, better infrastructure, and less corruption. Some of these people will definitely vote you but many of those people do not know your platform, they just know you as Bobi, the ghetto president.
- What is your plan for Buganda and its secessionist dreams? You should know that your tribe mates have created a bad reputation. Almost as bad as mzee’s arrogant cousins. We all know, Kampala and its surrounding districts belong to all Ugandans. In any case they have bought it, some have stolen it but many Ugandans have toiled to acquire a big chunk of Kampala and its surroundings. So those misjudged secessionist dreams, what is your plan? There is a considerable number of Baganda who have this toxic dream and there are many Ugandans who are suspicious of such dreams. I hear sing like a muganda? But you guys. Anyway Mr. President, you better come up with a position on Buganda’s toxic dreams and sell it to Ugandans or you will remain just a ghetto president. The suspicion and innuendo will not just evaporate. In any case, we want a president who unites us as Ugandan not one who encourages secessionist sentiments. My neigbours the Bakonjo want a state of their own too. How are you going to integrate them into our Uganda and make them give up their poisonous dream? Are you going to kill them like the guys around mzee did? Have you tried to find out what is causing this secessionist poison, it’s clearly not in the best interest of the common man. Maybe it is the corruption, or the hopelessness caused by the lack of progress on some issues. Maybe it is just selfish leaders miss leading the people. It is obvious that a state without resources and diversity will struggle to survive especially if it is surrounded by the very people it deems inferior or that it does want not to coexist with.
- Campaign finance in Uganda is one place where the dead are still rotting. I have no evidence of this but I suspect that the thieves channel a percentage of the proceeds of their crimes to the politician’s campaign funds. The military budget probably too channels some money to the campaigns, and then there is that bloated state house budget. But just know that there is no office of classified expenditure at the IG and in any case the institution makes it a point to stay away from the military except for the Justice Mwondha years. So the military budget is potentially the source of those cash in bags bribes you hear of. Mr. Kyagulanyi, we have not seen drafts of the campaign finance regulations that you intend to put in place to clear the cesspool. Every candidate should declare all the money they have collected during, before and after an election, how they have spent it, the balance, and personal funds invested. Furthermore, this is a ripe place for raising government revenue to create jobs and pay off our national debt. Tax Thirty five percent of all funds collected. This way we shall get a slice of the ill-gotten money that is laundered through campaign finance and obviously, it will even the playing field for honest people who want run for office. Maybe even poor old me will join the fun and enjoy the extravagant salaries paid to members of parliament. Drive one of those porch cars and get some of those cash in bags bribes we hear about. Maybe I would take the money in the bag, declare it to my constituents and place it in their vulnerable children education fund.
- The state house budget is a sink hole. I honestly believe that if you dared look into it, you would disappear in thin air. Do you guys sit around the table and every month family members are required to tithe twenty percent of their proceeds of corruption to the family slash fund. I watched this crime drama, where the crime boss called a meeting of family members and increased their tariffs. Who chairs those meetings? Does mzee participate? We get it mzee that you boast that you get a salary of less than Ushs 10,000,000 but you are not fooling any one. You, one man are appropriated more money than entire ministries. Mzee we hear the rumours, we know of the innuendos. Inquiring minds want to know, who audits the state house budgets? Who investigates abuses in state house? I know for a fact that none of your political appointees dare question state house actions. Mr. Ghetto President when you are in state house, you will have these billions at your disposal. How are you are going to ensure transparency? Who is going to provide oversight? What safe guards are going to put in place to ensure that you do not repeat the past? Are we going to have a limited state house, with a modest budget and the rest of its programs funded through established state agencies responsible for the specific issue being addressed. If the president for example wants to help, farmers. He go to the ministry of agriculture and let it handle the issue at hand.
- Now there is presidential pledges. Yes, fellow Ugandans, there is a budget for presidential pledges. So a person who wants political office promises to do A and C. Then he gets into office and the state appropriates money for the person to pay those pledges. Donors and opinion leaders sing about petty bribery of votes during elections but what bribe is clearer than presidential pledges. Leaders are supposed to run on policies not on cash and other hand-outs to specific groups. I can understand, a pledge to build roads, create jobs, and appoint liberal justices but personal pledges. Anyway Mr. President, will you continue this corrupt practice? Will you put in place mechanisms to control what can be pledged? Will your parliament continue appropriating money directly for presidential pledges?
- Our National debt is scary for a poor nation that has never been able to finance its full budget. In any case you cannot trust the figures compiled by civil society organisation or the OAG, they probably do not know the extent of our debt obligations. Every donor funded project in Uganda costs twice or thrice its actual cost, yet we have to pay back those loans one day. Have you considered increasing the tax base to raise more money for investment so as to collect more taxes? Have you heard of the tax exemption regime in Uganda? It is obviously as rotten as any other state initiative in Uganda. There was this tax emption that allows, the minister to write off debt of state agencies. Imagine the number of private companies that made it unto the list?. I do not remember when private companies in which the state is not even a shareholder became state agencies. Do you know that the state invests in private corporations every year, where is the interest on those loans, or dividends on those investments? How much money is laundered and wasted this way? Where are the profit? How many jobs have been saved or created? Where is the value for money? Mr. Kyagulanyi, there is an untapped tax base, you can tap. There is wastage and inefficiency that you can eradicate to free up state funds to pay off our debt or invest in job creation and industrialisation.
- What is your strategy for job creation? What is your strategy for the eradication of poverty? Are you going to purchase ghost and stale seedlings like NAADS and Operation wealth creation? Are you going to buy local breeds at the price of a fresian? We have seen success stories such as South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia and UAE. We have also seen some states that have become cautionary tales such as North Korea, Iran, Zimbabwe and others. What lessons are you going to learn from these leaders? How much of the national budget are you going to commit to job creation? How are you going to ensure equitable distribution of the jobs? How are you going to address environmental concerns? How are you going to create market for the goods? How are you going to handle the fact that we are land locked? How are you going to remove the thieves and crooks who have positioned themselves in key industries and sectors? How are you going to reform the education system to address unemployment? How are you going to build on UPE and USE? How are you going to revive the dead railway system? How are you going to solve the problem of expatriates who are not actually experts? How are you going to handle investors who want to import their countrymen to work in their businesses in Uganda? When we prosper how are you going to control economic refugees?
- Corruption is a cancer that is killing our country. There is a running joke that even children are now corrupt in Uganda. You are not going to cause any significant reform without effectively combating corruption. What is your plan for changing the corrupt minds of Ugandans? What is your plan for getting rid of the thieves and crooks who are so entrenched in the state institutions? Are going to work with some of mzee’s corrupt crooks that pretend to be reformed. Mzee knows that his administration is full of bean weevils, but unfortunately he has failed to come up with a workable strategy to eliminate them. The thieves can topple his government you know, and not only do they know where the bodies are buried but he also relies on some of them for his security. That is why, I understand that he is cornered and there is nothing he can do even if he deplores their greed and selfishness. What safeguards do you have in place to ensure that those people do not infiltrate your government?
- The courts are supposed to be the organ of the state that remains above the rot and safeguard the soul of the nation but they have been infected by corruption, laziness and brain drain. Mabe it is the recruitment process or maybe it is just that the whole Uganda is rotten to the core. Mr. President you will have a problem removing the bad seeds. What is your plan because they have Security of tenure? Anyway, you are lucky that the judiciary is under staffed. You could simply create more positions and appoint competent people on merit. We have many good people out there willing to serve as judges. It is a prestigious job for a lawyer to create jurisprudence. When we are in law school, we study the Lord Denning’s of this world and we just want to be like them. I do not know if mzee is just unlucky but most of his appointments end up becoming disappointments. I am not talking about the political judgments they make, it his natural self-preservation instinct to appoint people loyal to him, but I mean the technical cases where the state has no interest. I do not remember a presidential appointment that mzee has made that made real change. There was this guy at URSB, Musiisi at first and Robert Kabusenga but the rest, soon or later are so ineffective at service delivery that it is embarrassing. Does mzee have a secret tool for choosing disappointments or is it that the crooks around him recommend fellow crooks. Anyway, Mr. President, you need to tell Ugandan your solutions to corruption and the judiciary because those that actually support you want real change. Ugandans want a functional, impartial and excellent judiciary. A place to fall back on when the going goes tough because soon or later we all need a shoulder to lean on. An impartial and competent judge can come in handy at the worst time possible. Imagine if the rape case was presided over by some quack, our dear Rd. Dr. Besigye would be unjustly in prison. We are sorry that such a great jurist never made it to Supreme Court. What as loss. Justice Katutsi just know that those of us who know what it means to work in a broken system, appreciate your service.
- Mr. President, it is a poorly kept secret that certain jobs are reserved for a certain class of people. Mzee is smart and has tried to diversify his appointments but sometimes he has been misled. I was actually surprised to learn that the middle ranks in the army are very diverse, it is the top that has disproportionate representation. But you should know by now that, the tribalism perception is very high in Uganda. In some cases, it is legitimate in particular institutions, I mean you go to an institution and every one seaks the same language (not English) yet we have more than forty languages in Uganda. What is your plan? You will find it hard to fire the whole public service and hire afresh. Plus there is a likelihood that you could repeat the same tired practices and we end up with just a change of languge. I deplore direct affirmative action programs because they are not restrictively applied and thus just trade one form of discrimination for another. Proper affirmative action programs require transparency and ethics because you are giving an advantage to the more vulnerable group using a subjective analysis. Many Ugandans lack the discipline and ethics not to abuse such a subjective analysis. They will simply insert their own people rather those that merit it. You should know that even other tribes are not any better, they practice the same tribalism in the institutions that they lead, it’s not limited to mzee’s people. All Ugandans are infected with the same disease. What is your cure? How will you implement it?
- Mr. President I have moved throughout Uganda but there is no place like Mbarara other than Kampala. It’s true that tax payers maybe the beneficial owners of the biggest part of Kampala and Mbarara but if we talk about it openly we shall be called tribalistic. Truth be told, Mbarara has since 1986 become phenomenonal. I wish Jinja which was a dozen times more developed than Mbarara prior to this regime was as magnificent as Mbarara. Anyway, it’s a story of corruption and tribalism that Ugandans talk about in the shadows. It’s a story we shall tell when the thieves and crooks have been disarmed. You know, the saying, do not say bad thing about the king for a bird in the air may hear you and report back to him. We have this principle in law called resulting trust, it states that when a person contributes money or a person’s money is used to purchase or develop property which is held by another party, the person whose money is used is the beneficial owner of that property to the extent of his investment. So, inquiring minds want to, know, who owns Mbarara?
Mr. Kyagulanyi, you have four more years to explain to us what you stand for and to plan for 2026. You face an uphill task to depose the so called dictator. You will be well served by a soul searching exercise aimed at understanding why you lost in 2021 and what you need to do to win in 2026. You should know that nothing less than a Landslide victory in every part of Uganda can ensure your assent to the the presidency. Maybe improve your local fund raising, build a few radio and tv stations of your own, open a few offices upcountry and find three more running mates each from a different region of Uganda. You are better served by finding running mates that are loyal to Uganda rather than to you or the status quo.
Lots of love.
Read More Stories
- High Court Judges in Uganda scared of granting bail to Mohammed Ssegirinya and Allan Ssewanyana.
- Assessing the first three months of the new Inspectorate of Government and IGG Beti Kamya.
- Public officers should be required to register their transactions to deter and remedy corruption in Uganda
- The National Identification Number can help Uganda to Close the information gap that facilities corruption and money laundering
- Understanding active policing in Uganda. How to deter and stop corruption before it happens in Uganda